Many men find it hard to talk about their feelings because of how they were raised, a fear of being vulnerable, and not having any role models around them. Society often teaches men that showing feelings is for the weak. They usually have this narrative in their head where they feel MEN DON’T CRY. We can’t change it completely but we can try to generalize and have open discussions to make them feel okay. Starting with our own family, our kids, introspecting on our emotions, teaching them ways to express and regulate their emotions will be the 1st step towards this change. We can make sure to help build safe spaces for them to feel comfortable. But we can only change society once and if we start it within our house.
1. Stereotypes and Expectations in Culture:
Our Society has defined men as strong headed, independent, responsible, which often brings them to a spot where they feel pressured to adapt these terms. We may have come across various different phrases such as Men Don’t Cry. It directly is linked to their manhood. This results from them keeping their emotions and feelings to themselves. They might feel it is not allowed from their end. They are usually called out as weak men or who don’t want to take responsibilities and sometimes, they are even compared with women in terms of their emotional capabilities. This pressure can leave them feeling isolated, as they never learned how to express their emotions in a healthy way. It’s a difficult struggle that many men face, and it’s important to recognize how these messages can prevent them from connecting with others and being true to themselves.
2. The fear of being judged:
Since decades it has been established that Men are not allowed to express their emotions and when they do there’s a common societal pressure and judgmental attitude which reflects on their expression of emotions. They worry that others will think less of them or question their manhood. This fear can make them hold back their emotions and keep their struggles to themselves. Growing up in a certain culture or family can lead them to believe that it’s not okay to express how they feel, making it seem normal to hide their emotions.
3. Modes of Communication:
Men and women often communicate differently. The communication styles, the emotional and the logical quotient of both are too much. different. Women usually have a higher emotional quotient than men and they tend to talk about their emotions, while men might deal with them quietly. This doesn’t mean men don’t feel strongly; they just express it in other ways. If both sides can work together to understand each other, it becomes easier to talk with love and care. This way, no one feels like they aren’t expressing themselves enough.
4. Insufficient Emotional Terminology:
As men get older, many find it hard to put their feelings into words. They often feel unprepared to talk about their emotions, which can lead to frustration. This struggle can make them even less likely to open up to others about how they feel.
5. The Aversion to Exposure:
Being weak or vulnerable can be scary for many men. They might feel that they are being misunderstood and if they try to explain this to someone else, they might fear being judged and exposing themselves too much. They often worry that talking about their feelings will lead to rejection or disappointment. Because of this fear, they might avoid asking for emotional support, even from trusted friends and family, so they don’t seem weak or expose themselves too much.
6. Strengthening of Society:
Society often rewards men who are responsible and independent, creating an environment where showing emotions is seen as unnecessary or even negative. They are usually called the head of the families and it could be misogynistic but for decades this has been served in society like this. This idea is reinforced by the media, which often portrays strong and silent heroes who don’t show their feelings.
7. The Shame Associated with Mental Health:
The stigma around mental illness can also play a role. We all consume various content throughout the day, and many movies still play the same narrative as men being the hero, strong, independent, responsible, not expressing much, always listening, in society and we all think of them as ideal men but we forget that they too are human beings. They might be going through something too. Many men worry that talking about their feelings or asking for help will make them seem weak or unstable. This fear often leads them to handle their problems on their own instead of reaching out for support.
So how can we get males to open up about their emotions? Here are some tactics:
- Create a Safe Space: Encourage environments where it’s okay to express emotions. This can be as simple as forming supportive groups or having open conversations among friends. Try knowing them, understanding them and most importantly accepting them as equals where they feel comfortable sharing their heart out.
- Model Vulnerability: Men often feel more comfortable sharing their emotions when they see others, especially their peers, doing the same. Try talking or discussing topics where they might understand or get hints that you want to listen to their stories as well, their way of living, struggles. It’s okay to follow up on them once in a while. Leading by example can help break down barriers and encourage more open discussions.
- Employ laughter: Occasionally, laughter helps lighten the gravity of talking about feelings. Usually, we all open up when we feel comfortable and what’s better than sharing a good, non-judgmental conversation and laughter? Joking around can open the door to more in-depth discussions.
- Increase Emotional Vocabulary: Encourage the use of words related to feelings. Men can express their emotions more clearly by joining workshops, reading books, or having meaningful conversations. They need to believe that it’s generalized now, that it is okay to share and express.
- Encourage Mental Health Awareness: It’s important to reduce the stigma around mental health. We as a community can try to bring this awareness which was highly misunderstood for years. Support discussions and campaigns that promote emotional well-being and encourage people to talk about their feelings.
Men have often been discouraged from expressing their emotions because of societal norms, but this is slowly changing. By understanding why this silence exists and creating spaces for open conversations, we have built a culture that values emotional honesty for everyone. It’s time for all of us to embrace our vulnerabilities and support each other in processing our feelings. Ultimately, sharing our emotions is a powerful first step toward understanding and building connections.
We at Veda Rehabilitation and Wellness and Lets Get Happi, strive to fill this hollow space and void with trust, confidentiality and a non-judgmental attitude. We as Psychologists are trying to break this stigma surrounding men who feel that they have to make it work and feel that pressure burdening them. Our team always tries to send this message across which states that You’re Not alone, we all are here for you.
Feel free to download this app, book a session with one of our psychologists and break this stereotype which affects all of our mental wellbeing especially around men.