If you have ever been to therapy, you know how comforting and intimate that process is. Your therapist listens to you, validates your feelings and creates a safe space for you to be yourself. You and your therapist have built a strong rapport to be able to talk about anything under the sun. You talk about your thoughts, feelings, fears and insecurities and they listen to you and validate them. You crack jokes and they laugh. Your share your progress and growth with them and they feel proud of you.
You look forward to your sessions, not just for the guidance and support, but for the easy, relatable connection you’ve built. It’s easy to start thinking, Wouldn’t it be amazing to have a friend like this in my life?
But here’s the reality: while that connection feels deep and personal, it’s a part of the therapeutic process, not a friendship. It’s tempting to blur the lines, to imagine hanging out or grabbing coffee. After all, you click in ways that make you feel seen and understood. So why can’t your therapist be your friend?
There are many reasons for that –
1. Therapy is all about YOU
Therapy is about you—your growth and your healing. Your therapist is trained to focus entirely on what’s best for you. If they became your friend, that clear, helpful focus would shift. Friendships are about give and take, mutual support, and shared experiences. Therapy, on the other hand, is a space designed to support
you without that expectation of reciprocity. Your therapist remains in your corner, but they do so by maintaining boundaries that protect the therapeutic process.
2. It is a professional relationship, not a personal one.
You pay your therapist a certain fee for the service they are providing you. Therapists spend years in training to develop the skills to guide you objectively, free from personal bias. They are equipped to help you explore your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, all while maintaining a non-judgmental stance. This level of expertise is what you’re paying for—a dedicated space where your needs take priority.
3. It dilutes the objectivity and introduces personal bias
Imagine this – You tell your therapist about a tough argument with a friend, they’ll explore how you feel and understand what your dynamic with your friend is based on their training and your best interests. If they were your friend, however, they might unintentionally give biased advice or offer reassurance based on their personal feelings, which could affect the quality of guidance you receive.This is why keeping the relationship professional allows them to be the best possible support for you—focused, objective, and entirely dedicated to helping you grow.
4. Easier to be your authentic self
After you and your therapist have built a strong rapport, it often becomes much easier to open up about your deepest insecurities and secrets—things you might never share with even your closest friends.With friends, as much as we value their support, there’s often an underlying fear of judgment. You might hesitate to share certain thoughts, worries, or experiences out of concern for how they might perceive you.Your therapist, on the other hand, is trained to listen without judgment and to help you explore these difficult or uncomfortable feelings with empathy and understanding. You don’t have to worry about burdening them or being judged. Their role is to create a space where you can unpack the things you may not be able to talk about elsewhere.
5. Confidentiality Boundaries
Therapists are bound by strict ethical guidelines that protect your privacy. Everything you share with them stays confidential within the therapeutic space. In a friendship, however, those confidentiality rules wouldn’t apply in the same way. If your therapist became your friend, it could create confusing situations where the boundaries of what is personal and what is confidential get blurred, potentially putting your privacy at risk. Keeping the relationship professional ensures that your personal information remains protected and the boundaries are clear.While it is completely normal to want your therapist to be your friend and them kindly making you understand ‘’I can’t.It’s against our ethical boundaries.” can seem like rejection, the no-friendship rule is in your best interest for healing and growing.
