Dependency to some degree is required throughout existence; humans are social creatures who rely on others for survival across various stages of their lifespan. However, dependency in its more extreme forms is classified as a mental illness. Dependent Personality Disorder (DPD) is when someone is deeply focused on building and maintaining close relationships with others, often adapting their behavior to please them. They tend to feel powerless and have low self-esteem, believing they can’t manage life on their own. This disorder can significantly impact various aspects of an individual’s life, affecting their relationships, independence, and overall self-esteem. Understanding the symptoms and causes of DPD is crucial in order to provide appropriate support and treatment for those who are affected by this disorder.
Four main aspects to DPD:
- Cognitive: Imagine someone who constantly doubts their own abilities and feels powerless compared to others. They might hesitate to take initiative or make decisions, believing that others are more capable and better equipped to handle situations. For example, in a group project at work, this person might defer to their colleagues for direction and guidance, feeling unsure of their own contributions.
- Motivational: Picture someone who craves constant reassurance and validation from those around them. They might seek out relationships where they feel protected and supported, relying heavily on others for emotional stability. For instance, they might constantly seek approval from their partner or friends, feeling anxious or insecure if they don’t receive the affirmation they seek.
- Behavioral: Think about someone who prioritizes pleasing others and avoiding conflict at all costs. They might go out of their way to accommodate the needs and preferences of those around them, even if it means sacrificing their own desires. For example, they might agree to plans they don’t enjoy or suppress their own opinions to maintain harmony in relationships.
- Emotional: Consider someone who experiences intense fear of rejection and abandonment. They might constantly worry about being left alone or unloved, seeking constant reassurance from others to alleviate their anxiety. For instance, they might feel distressed if they perceive any signs of criticism or disapproval from friends or colleagues, fearing that it signals the loss of their support and acceptance.
In everyday life, these components of DPD can manifest in various ways, impacting an individual’s ability to navigate relationships and handle challenges independently. They might struggle with decision-making, feel anxious in social situations, and have difficulty asserting themselves in relationships or at work. Additionally, their constant need for reassurance and validation can strain their relationships, as others may feel overwhelmed by their constant demands for attention and approval.
What Are the Symptoms of DPD?
- Emotional Overdependence: People with DPD become excessively reliant on others for emotional support and validation. They may go to great lengths to please others in order to secure their approval and avoid rejection.
- Needy and Clinging Behavior: Individuals with DPD may exhibit overly dependent and clingy behavior towards their relationships, seeking constant reassurance and attention from others.
- Fear of Separation: There is a persistent fear of abandonment among those with DPD, leading to feelings of helplessness and distress when faced with the end of relationships.
- Decision-Making Difficulty: Individuals may struggle to make decisions on their own and constantly seek guidance and validation from others, even for minor choices like what to wear.
- Avoidance of Responsibilities: People with DPD may shirk adult responsibilities and rely on others – such as a spouse or friend – to make important decisions regarding work, living arrangements, and other aspects of their lives.
- Oversensitivity to Criticism: Criticism, even when constructive, may be taken extremely personally by individuals with DPD, leading to feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt.
- Pessimism and Lack of Self-Confidence: Those with DPD often struggle with low self-esteem and may believe they are incapable of caring for themselves independently.
- Avoidance of Disagreement: Due to a fear of losing support or approval, individuals with DPD may find it challenging to voice their own opinions or disagree with others.
- Difficulties Starting Projects: A lack of self-confidence and fear of failure may prevent individuals from initiating projects or taking on tasks independently.
- Fear of Being Alone: People with DPD may find solitude unsettling and may seek constant companionship to alleviate feelings of insecurity and loneliness.
- Tolerance of Mistreatment: Individuals with DPD may tolerate mistreatment and abuse from others in order to maintain relationships and avoid being left alone.
- Placing Caregivers’ Needs First: There is a tendency to prioritize the needs of caregivers or others over their own well-being, often at the expense of their own happiness.
- Naivety and Fantasy: Those with DPD may exhibit a certain level of naivety and engage in fantasy thinking, possibly as a coping mechanism to deal with their insecurities and fears.
These symptoms collectively contribute to the characteristic traits associated with Dependent Personality Disorder and may significantly impact an individual’s personal and interpersonal functioning.
Dependent Personality Disorder (DPD) can seriously disrupt relationships. People with DPD require constant reassurance and supervision, which can cause stress for their spouses, family, and friends. It can make people with DPD feel lonely and terrified of being alone. And it does not end there. DPD also alters how someone perceives himself. They rely so heavily on others that they begin to forget their own identity. They struggle to determine what they truly desire or believe in, making it difficult for them to be independent. Dealing with DPD is tough because it’s not just about feeling scared or insecure. It affects relationships and self-identity. Treatment needs to be understanding and focused on each person’s unique struggles with relationships and identity. It’s important to remember that dependent personality disorder (DPD) is a mental health condition. As with all mental health conditions, seeking help as soon as symptoms appear can help decrease the disruptions to your life. Mental health professionals can offer treatment plans that can help you manage your thoughts and behaviors. The loved ones of people with DPD often experience stress, depression and isolation. It’s important to take care of your mental health and seek help if you’re experiencing these symptoms.
REFERENCE
- Bornstein, R. F. (1995). Comorbidity of Dependent Personality Disorder and other Psychological Disorders: An Integrative Review. Journal of Personality Disorders, 9(4), 286–303. https://doi.org/10.1521/pedi.1995.9.4.286
- Disney, K. L. (2013). Dependent personality disorder: A critical review. Clinical Psychology Review, 33(8), 1184–1196. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cpr.2013.10.001
- https://www.webmd.com/anxiety-panic/dependent-personality-disorder
- Beitz, K., Bornstein, R.F. (2006). Dependent Personality Disorder. In: Fisher, J.E., O’Donohue, W.T. (eds) Practitioner’s Guide to Evidence-Based Psychotherapy. Springer, Boston, MA . https://doi.org/10.1007/978-0-387-28370-8_22\