The male gender of our society has been trapped in the restrictive prison of masculinity, and the pressure of being a real man. That not only constrains man’s emotions but also aspirations and identity. Over the years people in our society and our film and TV industries have valorized macho masculinity that is characterized by brute strength, stoic resilience, and exceptional bravado. Man in our society is expected to project the image and responsibility of the protector, the hero, the strong one, and not the sensitive one. They are not allowed to project or express any weakness or pain. Very few people understand the problems with masculinity or explore how these expectations of superhuman emotional and physical strength can impact young boys and men. Men are expected to be or are turned out to be the no-nonsense leader of the family or business or even a country, which leads them to be tyrannized and control things according to them. The soft gentle side of men is hidden, not accepted, or disregarded by people virulently. The unsaid rule and regulation of society is that man is equal to perform and work long hours without getting tired or complaining and do the heavy lifting of problems in life without stopping or expecting any help. They are expected to be strong and agile and not take breaks for self-health and help. Men are under severe peer pressure and societal pressure to use unhealthy ways to relax and relieve stress and anxiety through drinking showing power over weak or controlling things around them. They are considered indispensable if they are virile or sensitive or are not strong enough. They are trained and programmed by our society that giving and showing love, nourishment, attention, and comfort to the family, kids, friends, etc. is a show of weakness which is the responsibility of women. They are expected to exert pressure and stranglehold over everything. They are geared towards being ‘the Man’.
All this toxicity and lack of venting in their system can lead them to anger, resentment, and violence in nature which later turns into a spiralling rage in most men. They are required to have a healthy relationship with everyone like other people in society. They should have a healthy venting and relaxing system where they can express themselves without fear of being emasculated or judged as manless or less macho according to unhealthy societal norms. The evolution in understanding the toxicity of fake machoism has begun but it’s too slow, it is still taking the lives of so many adult males. The positive changes and increase in the acceptance of gentlemen in society have shown an increase in healthy relationships and stronger bonding of males with other members of society.
We need to be more cautious and attentive towards the mental health of this part of our society sooner than later as its increasing the risk of ruining the life of many people, not just males. A healthy male (Mental & physical) can not just change his life but his entire family, community, society, and even country. We can bring huge revolution by just changing small ways in our day-to-day life, such as:
- We can begin by opening up the safe space for the male around us.
- We can let them know and offer some break from being the protector the strong one the hero.
- We can teach our young generation of boys that it’s okay to be vulnerable.
- Make them practice asking for help when in need.
- We can also start by appreciating and encouraging them for expressing love and care.
- Making them understand that strength lies within standing up again after falling weak.
- Letting them know they are heroes irrespective of trying and failing.
We at Veda Rehabilitation and Wellness Center understand the severity and the sensitivity of male mental health. We strive on providing safe, holistic, required and necessary help needed. We have well-trained psychologists equipped in dealing with childhood and generational trauma.